Setting of the Letter: Upon receiving St. John’s apocalyptic missive to the seven churches of Asia in the mid-90s AD, those churches decided to formulate a collective response. Delegates, two from each church, were sent to Ephesus to discuss the letter and compose a reply to John, their beloved elder imprisoned by the Roman authorities on the Isle of Patmos. The council listened to testimonies from Nicolaitans, who gave tearful descriptions of their exclusion from certain Christian communities. Activists were brought in to explain their involvement in social justice. While disagreeing among themselves, they nevertheless were able to formulate a rejection of John’s theology. [This is a fictional and satirical letter, of course, intended to highlight current differences among those in the Christian tradition—whether actually Christians or not—on the issue of Church and State, culture, and society relations. Certain groups in John’s day, claiming to represent Christianity, h