Forgiveness, reconciliation, and love can dominate discussion of Christian ethics, whether personal ethics, family ethics, or communal ethics. These values for the way of our Christian life, or virtues for Christian character, are crucial for believers. Discussion of Christian ethics, though, needs to go beyond saying that one should respond in certain ways to others; we need to understand and address certain sinful challenges from others and in our own hearts that make forgiveness, reconciliation, and love towards others so challenging. If we do not, these values and virtues will simply be superficial. A related challenge (one among several) that we regularly face in Christian discipleship is anger—our own anger and the anger of others. Christian ethics involves dealing with life characterized by anger. The new covenant righteousness foretold by the prophets envisioned a changed heart and life in the Spirit. Practical advice from the Scriptures, such as from Proverbs, is only part of what needs to be said about anger and strife. The New Testament offers so much more: real change.
Righteous and Unrighteous Anger
Anger is not always a vice: there is such a thing as righteous indignance and anger. For example, God was angry with the Israelites and would not allow any to enter Canaan except Joshua and Caleb (Deuteronomy 1.34-37; Hebrews 3.10-11). Also, Jesus displayed anger at the Temple (John 2.13-17).
Anger is, however, often a ball of fire nurtured in the heart that flames out from time to time. We are pleased when it burns the other person. It hurts with words or even by doing physical harm. It is often direct, but can also be crafty, scheming to impede or derail the work of others. It is a roadblock to reconciliation and an acid that eats away at love.
Jesus on Anger
Jesus saw anger as an internal vice that, when nurtured, expresses itself in sinful acts. He appears to treat the Ten Commandments as topics in ethics that are not limited to the specific acts mentions, such as murder, idolatry, and swearing (Mt. 5.21-48). The commandment not to murder becomes, for him, a commandment for all sins related to the harm of others, including, and especially, sins of the heart that lead to actions. He says,
Matthew 5:21-22 "You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, 'You shall not murder'; and 'whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.' 22 But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, 'You fool,' you will be liable to the hell of fire, (ESV and throughout)
Jesus has in view the angry attitude of the heart, unkind verbal abuse, and hurtful—even deadly—acts. He offers concrete actions that can be taken stop the vicious cycle of anger. The solution appears to be an outward act of reconciliation—a stake in the ground, as it were—that can help heal the heart on the one hand and help stop harmful acts on the other. He says,
Matthew 5:23-26 So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.
Paul
on Anger
1. A Community of Love: Jesus, James, and Paul
One of Paul’s primary concerns for the churches that
he planted is for a community that experiences and practices peace. He views the message of salvation in these
terms, for it is not only a message about the forgiveness of past sins but also
about reconciliation with God and one another.
Jesus, of course, identified love of God and love of one another as the
key laws from the Old Testament (Mark 12.29-31, quoting Deuteronomy 6.5 and
Leviticus 19.18). The community that
Jesus established, then, is a community practicing this love of God and
neighbor.
Paul and James see this as foundational for Christian community. Paul understands love as the fulfillment of the Law (Galatians 5.14; Romans 13.8, 10). It sums up the intent of the Law (and it is not, of course, a replacement of the Law for Paul any more than for Jesus). James refers to Leviticus 19.18—‘love your neighbor as yourself’—as the ‘royal law’ (James 2.8). Paul seems to have the same passage in view when he refers to the ‘law of Christ’:
Galatians 6:2 Bear one another's burdens, and in this way you will
fulfill the law of Christ.
2. Saved from the Angry Life
Two interesting passages in Paul, one in Titus and
the other in Ephesians, describe salvation in terms of being transferred from
an angry, wrathful, bitter life to a life in Christ. The transference takes place through the work
of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, when the goodness and kindness of God
overcomes our cruel and unkind existence.
Both passages are lengthy and packed with theological richness:
Titus 3:2-7 [Remind
believers] … 2 to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be
gentle, and to show every courtesy to everyone.
3 For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led
astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice
and envy, despicable, hating one another.
4 But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior
appeared, 5 he saved us, not
because of any works of righteousness that we had done, but according to his
mercy, through the water of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit. 6 This Spirit he poured out on us
richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7
so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs according to
the hope of eternal life.
Ephesians 2:3-10 All
of us once lived among them in the passions of our flesh, following the desires
of flesh and senses, and we were by nature children of wrath, like everyone
else. 4 But God, who is rich
in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us 5 even when we were dead through
our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ-- by grace you have been
saved-- 6 and raised us up
with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the ages to come he
might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ
Jesus. 8 For by grace you
have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift
of God-- 9 not the result of
works, so that no one may boast. 10
For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which
God prepared beforehand to be our way of life.
Many
interpret Ephesians 2.3’s ‘children of wrath’ to mean that we were once people
who experienced God’s wrath for our sins (cf. the NIV translations ‘objects of
wrath’). That is theologically true, but
it seems that this is not the correct view here and that Ephesians has the same
thought as Titus. Indeed, all of
Ephesians is about how God has established Christ’s peace instead of human
enmity in various areas of life: between God and ourselves (Eph. 2.1-11);
between Jews and Gentiles (Eph. 2.12-22); between fellow Christians within the
church (Eph. 4.1-5.21); and between husband, wife, children, and slaves within
the family (Eph. 5.22-6.9).
3. Anger and the Sinful Flesh
In light of the previous point, it follows that life
lived apart from the work of God is life dominated by an angry existence and
other sins. Paul typically begins his
lists of sins with sexual sin, but he often includes sins to do with anger, as
when he describes the works of the flesh:
Galatians 5:19-21 Now the works of the flesh are obvious: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions, 21 envy, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these. I am warning you, as I warned you before: those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Note that he uses 3 terms for sexual sins, 2 terms for spiritual sins, 8 terms that produce anger and strife, and 2 terms that have to do with wild behaviour. Also note that, in Paul’s longest list of sins, most sins have to do with an angry way of life from which God has redeemed Christians.
Romans 1:29-31 They were filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, covetousness, malice. Full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, craftiness, they are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, rebellious toward parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.
The works of the flesh in Galatians 5.19-21 are replaced with the fruit of the Spirit:
All of these help us live well with one another.
Galatians 5:22-26 By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, competing against one another, envying one another.
Paul understands the transforming work of God as a work of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. Through Christ, we have crucified our sinful passions and desires, including those of uncontrolled anger. Through the Spirit, we now engage the world as God does: our angry spirit is replaced with the Holy Spirit. In Colossians, Paul describes the old life that people followed before coming to Christ with a list of sins that focus on anger:
Colossians 3:8 … anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language from your mouth.
Over against these, the virtues of the Christian life establish a peaceful community in Christ, even though it exists in an angry world:
Colossians 3:12-14 As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. 13 Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
Indeed, for Paul, anger is an avenue down which sin and Satan regularly travel. It is to be dealt with rather than harboured or nurtured:
Ephesians 4:26-27 Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not make room for the devil.
Dealing with Anger: Various Advice
When Jesus offers advice on how to end the vicious cycle of anger in Matthew 5.21-26, he has in mind the person who is dealing with someone else’s anger, not his or her own anger. Jesus is offering advice on how to help other people with their anger. This is, however, good for both persons. On the one hand, a person should seek reconciliation from someone who is angry with him or her so that his or her offering to God will be acceptable. One should not imagine that God will receive his offering while others are angry towards him or her. On the other hand, the person who has been harmed and is angry might take irreversible action in a court of law: it is better to settle the matter before it escalates to that level.
We also find some simple but poignant advice in Proverbs for dealing with others’ anger.
The options considered
are:
Acts of Kindness
Proverbs 25:21-24 If your enemies are hungry, give them bread to eat; and if they are thirsty, give them water to drink; 22 for you will heap coals of fire on their heads, and the LORD will reward you. 23 The north wind produces rain, and a backbiting tongue, angry looks. 24 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a contentious wife (quoted by Paul in Romans 12.20).
. Care with Our Responses
a.
When
and How to Speak:
Being careful with our
responses is difficult not only because we might be inclined to engage in a
verbal exchange with mean and bad people but also because we may, more
virtuously, want to correct errors of fact and understanding. This dilemma is reflected in two, opposing
proverbs:
Proverbs 26:4 Do not answer fools according to their folly, or you will be a fool yourself. Proverbs 26:5 Answer fools according to their folly, or they will be wise in their own eyes.
Knowing when and how to speak calls for good judgement. In Proverbs, we are warned about how to proceed on several occasions. We might begin by de-escalating the situation, but not responding immediately. We might, further, ignore initial provocations. Both suggestions are given in a single proverb:
Proverbs 12:16 Fools show their anger at once, but the prudent ignore an insult.
Another proverb emphasizes being slow to anger:
Proverbs 14:29 Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but one who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
James echoes this proverb:
James 1:19-20 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires.
Indeed, God’s own character includes being slow to anger. He is merciful, gracious, slow to anger, and abounds in steadfast love and faithfulness in his relationship with us—with sinful people. This understanding of God’s character is repeated on a number of occasions in the Old Testament (Exodus 34.6; Numbers 14.18; Nehemiah 9.17; Psalm 86.15; 103.8; 145.8; Joel 2.13; Jonah 4.2; Nahum 1.3).
Being slow to speak, too, is a virtue of the wise:
Proverbs 10:14 The wise lay up knowledge, but the babbling of a fool brings ruin near.
Proverbs and James both advise the righteous about their speech with others. James likens the tongue to a rudder:
Several proverbs address the matter of speech and anger. Not only is the content of speech in view here; gentle speech as opposed to shouting and angry tones is also an issue.
Proverbs 15:1-2, 4 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 2 The tongue of the wise dispenses knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly…. 4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
Proverbs 10:11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.
Proverbs 15:18 Those who are hot-tempered stir up strife, but those who
are slow to anger calm contention.
b.
Listening
To Good Advice:
On the other hand,
listening to good advice is also important:
Proverbs 13:10 By insolence the heedless make strife, but wisdom is with
those who take advice.
c.
Not Fueling the Fire:
Yet
another piece of very practical advice is to avoid fueling the fire. This is, frankly, quite the challenge. If someone is observing a ridiculous
situation unfold, poor leadership, or flagrantly sinful behaviour, it is
difficult not to engage the situation.
Sometimes, to be sure, the situation needs to be engaged. However, one is advised in Proverbs to do so
openly and directly rather than discussing the issues behind the scenes in
whispers and with winks. If one cannot
address the problem directly with someone in authority who can harm you, one
has the option to address the situation directly with others or to drop the
issue—or address it in prayer to God.
What does not help, however, is to fill a bad situation with quiet
whispers that can produce no change.
In
Proverbs we read:
Proverbs 17:14 The
beginning of strife is like letting out water; so stop before the quarrel
breaks out.
Proverbs 10:10 Whoever
winks the eye causes trouble, but the one who rebukes boldly
makes peace.
Proverbs 16:28 A
perverse person spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.
Proverbs 18:8 The
words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the
inner parts of the body. [This is repeated in Proverbs
26.22.]
Proverbs 22:10 Drive
out a scoffer, and strife goes out; quarreling and abuse will cease.
Proverbs 26:21 As
charcoal is to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person
for kindling strife.
d.
‘Toning it Down’
Another
piece of advice is to tone things down.
As one enters a freeway from an on-ramp, one is supposed to increase
speed and merge into the traffic.
Sometimes, however, the traffic on the freeway will not allow this,
whether because some people are poor drivers or angry drivers. In such a situation, one needs to slow down
to avoid an accident. In life, too, we
sometimes have to ‘dial it down’ or 'tone it done’—de-escalate a bad
situation. Some people, however, enjoy a
good fight:
Proverbs 17:19 One who loves transgression loves strife;
Proverbs 18:6 A
fool's lips bring strife,
Proverbs 20:3 It
is honorable to refrain from strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.
Proverbs 29:22 One given to anger stirs up strife, and the hothead
causes much
transgression.
Proverbs 30:33 For as pressing milk produces curds, and pressing the
nose produces
blood, so pressing anger produces strife.
e. Avoiding Troublesome People, and Making a Peaceable Home
Proverbs is aware of the challenges of life with certain people. Angry people just like to stir up trouble:
Proverbs 30:33 For as pressing milk produces curds, and pressing the nose produces blood, so pressing anger produces strife.
Some particular words are reserved for a contentious wife, as we already saw in Prov. 25.24. Three further proverbs address the same problem:
Proverbs 17:1 Better is a dry morsel with quiet than a house full of
feasting with strife.
Proverbs 21:19 It is better to
live in a desert land than with a contentious and fretful wife.
Proverbs 27:15-16 A continual
dripping on a rainy day and a contentious wife are alike;
16 to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in the right hand.
These three proverbs do not seem to offer much help in such cases, but they may suggest not marrying such a person in the first place and, if one is married, simply avoiding too much contact with a contentious wife. Some marriages simply need more space than others. To be sure, her behaviour is sinful. Paul, however, offers some hope out of such a situation—a hope to be found as every relationship is submitted to Christ. A wife, he says, should submit to and respect her husband, and he should love her as he does himself (Eph. 5.22-33). Paul’s words on marriage fit within a concern for peace and unity running throughout Ephesians. He says,
Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. 24 Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, 27 so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind-- yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church. 33 Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband.
This advice is often taken in some absolute sense that causes endless speculation by some commentators to try to get free from what is perceived as some unequal, hierarchical authority in a marriage. This is not Paul’s point, however, for he has no need to argue in favour of what the entire culture at the time accepted. Paul has no interest in opposing the notion of a man being head of the household. Rather, he is interested in how to extract divisiveness and maintain unity in a marriage, to have a peaceable home. The wife can bring disharmony to the marriage by not submitting to her husband, just as the husband can bring disharmony by not lovingly giving himself wholly for his wife, as Christ did for the Church. The opposite of ‘submission’ for the wife is not ‘headship’ of the husband but quarrelsomeness, which opposes unity and peace in the home. ‘Headship’ for the husband can be abusive, and so Paul qualifies it with sacrificial love. Paul is concerned to remove a power relationship, not by removing hierarchy or advocating something that nobody entertained—egalitarianism, so as to establish peace and unity in the home. The wife disowns power through submitting to her husband, just as the husband disowns power through a self-sacrificial love.
Meditation on God’s Law
Two ways to avoid sinful behaviour, including anger, are to be focused on something other than the situation and to spend time with the right crowd. A person should focus on God, meditating on his Law, and should avoid bad company. The book of Psalms begins with this advice:
Psalm 1:1-2 Happy are those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or take the path that sinners tread, or sit in the seat of scoffers; 2 but their delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law they meditate day and night.
One might well justify spending time with other scoffers—the world and everything in it is full of incompetence and sin. The issue here is not to deny that there is bad in the world but rather that there is a better way to live than focusing on it. By meditating on good things, people may well be better disposed to build others up.
A Spirit Endowed Community
Paul adds an essential theological conviction to the hope of overcoming anger and strife. He understands the Christian life to be lived not in one’s own strength but through the empowering presence of the Holy Spirit. This is the hope and expectation of new covenant ethics, as the prophets foretold (Isaiah 59.20-21; Jeremiah 31.31-34; Ezekiel 36.24-29). It was not something accomplished within Israel’s covenant community, for more was required than good laws governing the community. Neither is it, therefore, the tolerance and diversity advocated by contemporary culture. Christian fellowship, unity, and peace are marked by the Spirit’s active presence within the church. They, as much as Godly holiness and righteousness, are to be hallmarks of the Christian life. Spirit-inspired prophecy, for example, has the purpose of upbuilding, encouraging, and comforting others (2 Corinthians 14.3). Thus Paul has a hope that is grounded in the fact of God’s empowering presence, his gifting of the community to live in radical fellowship and peace. The church is unified in Christ. Each person offers his or her gifts of the Spirit, services of the Lord, and activities activated by God for the whole body (1 Corinthians 12.4-6).
Conclusion
The Christian
community should be marked by practices of forgiveness, reconciliation, and
love. Yet it should also be a
Spirit-endowed community that has relinquished anger and strife. Proverbs, one of Israel’s books of wisdom,
offered practical advice about anger.
Yet the new covenant righteousness foretold by Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel
deepen the discussion. Jesus understood
righteousness in the Kingdom of heaven to increase the requirements and
expectations in ethics from only a focus on actions to a further focus on the
heart. He warned that the act of murder
is preceded by less severe acts of anger, but all these are preceded by
anger. The ethics of God’s Kingdom
require a new heart. Paul also examines
ethics from the perspective of the new covenant as well. His focus is on the difference that Jesus
Christ and the Holy Spirit make for Christian discipleship and community. God’s plan is not only to have a forgiving
community but a transformed community, one in which anger and strife are
replaced by peace and unity.
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