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Letter to Paul from Antioch (Satire)

 

What if…?  A letter from Antioch to Paul

 

Dear Paul,

From Antioch, Left Bank of the Orontes Community Fellowship, formerly the Church at Antioch.  Greetings. We pray that your important work in Ephesus continues well.  

On our end, we are proceeding with some conceptual, administrative, and regulatory changes that we need to share with you and the others whom we support.  Certain thought leaders among us have been instrumental in guiding us through this process.  Please find here a brief account of ten of these changes, which we can discuss in more detail as we are able to do.  We ask you to implement these immediately and send us a report in two months.

1.     In our intercultural context, we want to put forward a positive image of ourselves among the other religions.  ‘Conversion’ conveys the wrong message.  Our end goal should be tolerance, constructive dialogue, and coexistence.  We want to affirm people for who they are, not try to change them.  ‘Missionary’ can be replaced with terms that others use in the general workforce, like ‘teacher’ or ‘counsellor,’ but the generic term ‘leader’ is a favourite for us.  In this light, we are very disturbed with reports from others that you are using the term ‘slave’ in regard to your ministry.  ‘Ministry’ is also a problem.  It means service, and it too should be dropped as too demeaning and unappealing.  We would rather not portray ourselves in this lowly light.  Since most overseers are slaves, please also discontinue use of this term for leaders.

2.     You may recall the discussion on your previous visit about how ‘everyone is a missionary.’  While we ourselves were still using the word ‘missionary,’ anything anyone does that is positive and helpful is now the sort of thing we would like to support.  Giving pride of place to proclaiming the Gospel undermined so many good things we want to be doing.  We are now supporting ‘good works,’ a more holistic understanding.  Moreover, the notion that a mere message, the Good News, is powerful rather than effective activism seems to us to be upside down thinking.  We note that you find yourself persecuted and even imprisoned from time to time just for sharing this Gospel message in public, so we suggest that you focus more on activities that attract people to the meetings.  This might be anything from a programme to help the poor to putting on entertainment for the neighbourhoods. We find drag queen reading hours are a great delight, especially for the children.

3.     Our committee believes that it gave you considerable leeway at the outset of your work, laying hands on you and sending you out without any oversight.  As we have matured as an organisation, we now want to engage with you in decision making about the work.  Our operation has grown into an institution, and we also now have a detailed handbook that is included with this scroll.  Of particular importance, any future project will need clearance from our director.  We know that letters take some time to pass between us, but please do not undertake any projects without approval.  We also appreciate that you may have funding from some other sources, but our approval will be necessary for any project you undertake.  The old idea of recognising someone’s calling and blessing them as they go out is far too loose, and we have moved to the business understanding of directors, planning and executive committees, and employees.  Be assured, we value you as our employee.

4.     As your employer, then, we would like you to complete the enclosed training programme.  Your intercultural work will benefit from our training on diversity, but this programme also values equity and inclusion.  In future, make sure that you do not prioritise someone’s maturity in the faith and gifts or merits above the diversity that they bring to the Christian community.  Be in particular lookout for people from excluded minorities, giving them priority over others for any work.  Do not call this reverse discrimination; it is ‘equity,’ which we now define as equal outcomes through inequality.  This is truly social justice.  Also, do not draw harsh lines between the ‘church’ and ‘the world,’ since our goal is to be inclusive and welcoming.  Consider gatherings as places where ‘seekers’ join with those who have made commitments to the community, and relax the standards for the committed members as well.  Avoid the word ‘church’—it is too off-putting for these seekers.  How else can we emphasise love, tolerance, acceptance, and so forth?  In this light, please drop your divisive focus on ‘holiness’ and ‘righteousness.’

5.     We appreciate your use of the Bible in the communities that you have founded in different cities.  Please be aware, however, that it is only a founding document; the authority of the community to interpret it in constructive ways needs to be affirmed.  Speaking of the Bible as God’s Word or as inspired by the Spirit of God seems a little too much, and it is certainly restrictive for the new truths we find and celebrate in other places.  We need to give flexibility to communities to construct their own, contextually relevant and contemporary understandings and practices, without being restricted by outdated ideas and morality from the Bible.

6.     Relatedly, we think our communities should be well educated in other fields of study.  We know you would not argue with this, but trying to bring a Biblical and theological emphasis to everything is unnecessary.  After all, is not all truth God’s truth?  It would be far better for our young people to understand their own context and the needs in that context so that they can respond best.  Not all can be Bible scholars or knowledgeable of historical theology.  Let us understand our work in the public square without these shackles of the more classical curriculum.

7.     Let us be more specific.  We applaud your founding of a small school in Ephesus in the hall of Tyrannus.  Some changes to make to the curriculum that you have shown to us, though, would surely help your students be more contextually relevant and effective.  The social sciences are particularly relevant for people engaging in social work, which is the better way to understand your work and that of others.  We suggest that you replace courses in ‘ministry’ with courses in ‘leadership’; courses in ‘pastoral care’ with ‘practical theology’ and ‘counselling’; courses in ‘mission’ with ‘intercultural studies,’ ‘anthropology,’ ‘comparative religions,’ and ‘geography and demographics.’  Focus on contemporary theology rather than historical theology, and always add ‘and’ to Bible courses: ‘Bible and culture,’ ‘Bible and the poor,’ ‘Bible and suffering,’ and so forth.  Keep the focus on the community’s context and on action, not on theology itself (most theology really is impractical and divisive) or the Biblical text itself.  In that regard, do not offer courses in Biblical languages but in contemporary languages.

8.     We have also been doing some soul searching about our origins in Judaism.  Ancient Israel saw itself in a special relationship with God and, from that perspective, it disparaged the meaningful and beautiful contribution of other religions and ethnicities.  This exclusivism of Judaism can be interpreted as racist and prideful.  We are considering giving reparations to religious groups that were previously offended or somehow injured by ‘our’ behaviour.  Although most in our churches are Gentiles from these other, disparaged groups and ethnicities, would it not be a nice gesture anyway to ask forgiveness and repay them somehow?  We are, in fact, trying to cancel that historical link.

9.     Exclusivism in your theological doctrine also needs to be eliminated.  Remember, we need to go beyond ‘tolerance’ as a value to ‘inclusive.’  We have already had to write John about his claim that Jesus said He was the only way to the Father.  As a rule, ask yourself if you are excluding rather affirming people in what they believe, and choose the path of affirmation always.

10.  Finally, our handling of ethical issues also needs to be addressed.  We have seen some of your sin lists, and we find this approach to what should be inclusive fellowship off-putting.  People generally know what is good and what is not, but saying this so bluntly, and adding that people who do such things will not enter the kingdom of God, is very ugly and confrontational.  After all, who is really to say what is right?  Doing what is loving, that is, affirming, is the better approach to ethics.  We know you have written beautifully about love to the Corinthian churches, but you should have added, ‘Love rejects calling things wrong,’ not ‘love does not rejoice at wrongdoing.’  You have often identified sex outside marriage between a man and a woman as sinful, leaving some to believe that your ‘religion’ is really all about sex.  How can we live in a society with such diversity on sexual matters if we go around saying that God does not approve of people’s sexual identities and activities?  Let’s have less of this and more love, Paul.

We will need to pick up some further issues with you in person, but for now, we believe that we have communicated the need to provide not only oversight but direction to your work in greater detail.  Finally, try to stay out of jail more often, unless your arrest is for burning down public buildings over some perceived social injustice issue that gets you points with the street activists.

Sincerely,

The Administrative Committee

Antioch, Left Bank of the Orontes Community Fellowship

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